Saturday, March 1, 2008

Open Letter to TN Pedestrians

Dear Tennessee Pedestrians,


What the hell are you thinking?


Darting out across undivided four lane streets to cross? I'm really sick of it. I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of you standing in the middle of the turn lane waiting for traffic to clear so you can dart the rest of the way across. It's pretty apropos that this lane is commonly called the Suicide Lane because that's clearly what you're after.


I know you're not in hurry cause no one is in a hurry in this state. And why do you ALWAYS have a plastic grocery bag when you do this? Even when you're nowhere near a grocery store?


I am told that Tennessee traffic law does not contain a Pedestrian Right of Way clause, which pretty much seals the deal on this practice being The Dumbest Way of Getting from Point A to Point B That Does Not Involve a Cannon.


California has a Pedestrian Right of Way clause, and we still bother to use the crosswalk most of the time. Yes we're smug about it, yes, we just walk into a crosswalk like we own it, and yes, we get bitchy of someone stops quickly, but at least we use the paint.


Sincerely,


Perturbed in Nashville


UPDATE: MEAT AND THREE

My promised trip to a "Meat and Three" did not materialize so we'll all have to wait and see what it is.

4 comments:

jenny moon said...

are you afraid to face the "meat and three" alone? is it a situation that requires chaperoning? do you need an appointment? the mystique deepens...

Josh (the oak) said...

Well, I thought as a cultural experience, I should really go with someone who is "into it" so I can observe them, as it were, in the act.

jenny moon said...

ahhh yes, observing the native mammals in their natural habitat...always the best source of empirical data on a species...

meg said...

i fear there must be massive amounts of Tennessee immigrants coming to Oregon, cause there's a bunch of people doing the exact same thing you described here in Springfield all the time...now that I think of it...springfield is a bit like the south in so many ways...